I am not one to go around preaching gospel or throwing my faith in God at anyone but I just feel I have to do it today, especially in light of my recent struggles and moods.
For the last several months I have been doubting my self - worth and my capability to function as an adult out in the real world. I felt like no matter what I did I could not succeed and this was hard because I had never experienced it before. I know that I am a hard worker and valuable but no matter how much I tried to remind myself of that, the negative thoughts overrode the positive ones.
Now I am not a huge religious person, but I do believe in God and he has always seemed to keep me safe. Quite honestly though the last few months I began to understand how people can lose faith in God. I just kept going "Why are you making me doubt myself and go through this?"
Luckily I stuck it out (what can I say, I am stubborn!) and within just 5 short days I have been blessed with positive thoughts from all over! I am not sure if I agree with the path God choose to take me on but the end result is a good one!
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Saturday, May 2, 2015
I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough and doggone it people like me!
That is my motto today!!
Funny that my horoscope yesterday was to document my life story and write about it. My coworker says "Time to update your blog!" I was like "Yeah I have nothing to write about!" but after what transpired yesterday that has changed!
I suffer from depression. Most of the time it's just seasonal. The dark and dreary winter months cause me to shrink back into my shell and just want to hibernate until the sun comes out again. However in the past 9 months this has not been the case and this is not normal.
Yes we have had life altering issues, such as the death of a friend which I am sure contributes to it, however this was worse than that. For the first time ever I had people that were (and are) extremely worried about me. So this made me really stop and think. Obviously things are pretty bad if I have said or done things that make my friends worried. I am usually one that tries not to lean on others and to try to fix my problems first. If I am no longer able to do this than I am not as strong as I once was and this means I need some help.
I was in a bad situation for the past several months. No need to go into what it was, as most of my friends already know. This situation had people making me doubt myself. Every day I felt like I had no redeeming qualities and that I sucked at everything I did. I was basically to blame for everything. If you know me, you know that this is not the case! I am a kind, considerate, hard-working individual! If I make a mistake, I try to learn from it and move on. I always put my best effort forward. To be accused of not doing this just angers me. As I see it, the situation has taken a turn for the better. I may struggle for a bit but in the end I know my faith and self worth will be restored.
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I reflected on my situation last night and was like "Why did I have to suffer through this and feel all this pain?" Who knows what the real reasons may be but I feel it was for two reasons.
The first reason was so that know that I never want to deal with a situation or people like I had to again. I will be reminded that I deserve better than that and to stick up for myself.
The second reason is for the friendships that transpired or grew from this. Not only the new friendships but the reassurance that I have a wonderful group of friends that are always there for me.
I am good enough, I am smart enough and DOGGONE it, people like me!!
Funny that my horoscope yesterday was to document my life story and write about it. My coworker says "Time to update your blog!" I was like "Yeah I have nothing to write about!" but after what transpired yesterday that has changed!
I suffer from depression. Most of the time it's just seasonal. The dark and dreary winter months cause me to shrink back into my shell and just want to hibernate until the sun comes out again. However in the past 9 months this has not been the case and this is not normal.
Yes we have had life altering issues, such as the death of a friend which I am sure contributes to it, however this was worse than that. For the first time ever I had people that were (and are) extremely worried about me. So this made me really stop and think. Obviously things are pretty bad if I have said or done things that make my friends worried. I am usually one that tries not to lean on others and to try to fix my problems first. If I am no longer able to do this than I am not as strong as I once was and this means I need some help.
I was in a bad situation for the past several months. No need to go into what it was, as most of my friends already know. This situation had people making me doubt myself. Every day I felt like I had no redeeming qualities and that I sucked at everything I did. I was basically to blame for everything. If you know me, you know that this is not the case! I am a kind, considerate, hard-working individual! If I make a mistake, I try to learn from it and move on. I always put my best effort forward. To be accused of not doing this just angers me. As I see it, the situation has taken a turn for the better. I may struggle for a bit but in the end I know my faith and self worth will be restored.
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I reflected on my situation last night and was like "Why did I have to suffer through this and feel all this pain?" Who knows what the real reasons may be but I feel it was for two reasons.
The first reason was so that know that I never want to deal with a situation or people like I had to again. I will be reminded that I deserve better than that and to stick up for myself.
The second reason is for the friendships that transpired or grew from this. Not only the new friendships but the reassurance that I have a wonderful group of friends that are always there for me.
I am good enough, I am smart enough and DOGGONE it, people like me!!
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Polly Pissy Pants won't leave and now Negative Nelly has come to visit!
So I started 2015 with one goal, just one! It was a simple one too! To be positive. To see the silver lining on every cloud, to stop and smell the roses, to look at the world through rose colored classes.
Well so far the skies have been overcast so no clouds, roses are wilted or not in bloom and someone dropped and then stepped on my rose colored glasses! Polly Pissy Pants and Negative Nelly have set up shop in my house and won't leave!
I know I have many things to be thankful for, and I really do try hard to remember those. I mean I have a healthy family, a roof over my head, clothes on my back. I just keep letting the little things get to me and to stress me out and make me angry.
Social media doesn't help either. Stories about abandoned children, sore winners from the Super Bowl, celebrities that are transitioning from a man to a woman (okay well that one doesn't make me angry, it just makes me shake my head!). They all just make you scratch your head and go "What is the world coming to?" It makes me mostly just want to bury my head in the sand and pretend like none of this is really going on around me!
Getting old doesn't help either. To many "adult" responsibilities! Bills to be paid, taxes that are due. First time EVER that we have to pay and it makes me angry! I mean we make TOO much to qualify for any discounts/savings but barely make enough to live comfortably. Stupid, stupid....
But again...I shouldn't complain right? I have a wonderful, caring husband who makes me laugh, a smart and beautiful daughter that melts my heart, wonderful friends who let me vent and tell me to suck it up and get over it when I am being a pill, family that loves me and makes sure I am okay.
So hopefully Polly & Nelly will move their butts here shortly and we will all live happily ever after!
Ha!
Well so far the skies have been overcast so no clouds, roses are wilted or not in bloom and someone dropped and then stepped on my rose colored glasses! Polly Pissy Pants and Negative Nelly have set up shop in my house and won't leave!
I know I have many things to be thankful for, and I really do try hard to remember those. I mean I have a healthy family, a roof over my head, clothes on my back. I just keep letting the little things get to me and to stress me out and make me angry.
Social media doesn't help either. Stories about abandoned children, sore winners from the Super Bowl, celebrities that are transitioning from a man to a woman (okay well that one doesn't make me angry, it just makes me shake my head!). They all just make you scratch your head and go "What is the world coming to?" It makes me mostly just want to bury my head in the sand and pretend like none of this is really going on around me!
Getting old doesn't help either. To many "adult" responsibilities! Bills to be paid, taxes that are due. First time EVER that we have to pay and it makes me angry! I mean we make TOO much to qualify for any discounts/savings but barely make enough to live comfortably. Stupid, stupid....
But again...I shouldn't complain right? I have a wonderful, caring husband who makes me laugh, a smart and beautiful daughter that melts my heart, wonderful friends who let me vent and tell me to suck it up and get over it when I am being a pill, family that loves me and makes sure I am okay.
So hopefully Polly & Nelly will move their butts here shortly and we will all live happily ever after!
Ha!
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