Random stuff bout Me, Chad, Shelby or anything else I feel like talking about

Monday, December 29, 2014

Meet my alter ego - Positive Polly

Let's be honest - life can just suck sometimes. This past year has been proof of that for us. I have always tried to be of the mind that "everything happens for a reason" even if we sometimes can't determine what those reasons may be.

My goal for 2015 is to try to stay positive. This may involve a lot of self help books, a lot of positive quotes, maybe a lot of alcohol, but I will do whatever it takes to remain positive!

I may not have any friends in the end as I will sicken you with all the positivity but I guess if that happens then it just means I have more time for those other friends. (see...already trying to see the positive!)

Wish me luck on my new journey! Just don't say "I told you so!" when I scream at the top of my lungs and tell everyone (and everything!) that they can go suck it!

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Dear Cancer, You can go SUCK it!

Dear Cancer,
I am going to be quite frank with you. Usually I try to be kind, not think badly of others but I just can't be that person right now. I don't like you. Wait...I think that is too nice. I despise you with a passion. There I said it!

I am trying really hard to think positively but so far only negative thoughts have surfaced. What exactly is your purpose? I mean everything has to have a good and bad side right? So what is your good side because I only see the bad. I see so many lives of good people affected by your vengeful actions.

I wish for you to go away...far, far away from those that are close to me and that I love. I don't want to have to see them going through the turmoil/stress/heartache anymore!

I am sorry for being so honest. I know this probably hurts your feelings. I am sure you didn't set out to be so hurtful.

I hope in the near future you will not be a part of my life, or my friends lives.

Sincerely,

Stephanie

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

A Letter to Alicia

Dear Alicia,
Oh where do I begin? Is it with the simple statement that I wish I wasn't even having to write this? Or how it brings tears to my eyes that you will not be able to read it? But then again...the Internet is everywhere so maybe Heaven has it as well? :)

So many emotions are raging through me right now. I am sad you are gone, I am angry that you were taken from us way too early, I feel guilty that I sometimes take life for granted when it can be taken away from any of us so easily.

Then I have ridiculously silly thoughts pop through my head like "Well she won't have to worry about if she shaved her legs or not before wearing shorts!" or "Won't she be glad that she won't have to read all of those political jab statuses on Facebook!" Silly right? I mean we would all rather have you here (and I am sure you would want to be here!) to even worry about those things!

I know we weren't the closest of friends, but I was thankful to call you a friend! I can only wish to be as caring and compassionate as you were. To see the outpouring of messages to you and your family just warms my heart. I hope that when I leave this earth that I leave behind as many loved ones as you did!

You will be missed but you will always be with us. If not in our hearts then in your boys who will carry on your legacy. We will be able to take a glance at them and see a little part of you - be it in their looks, thoughts/ideas, or even their attitude!

Don't worry as we will keep an eye on all of your boys, even the big one! Chad is seeing to that! I foresee Flat Alicia going on many motorcycle rides with them!

Hugs until we meet again!

Your Friend,
Stephanie

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Wanna Join Me on the Roller Coaster of Emotions?

First off, I am not a big fan of roller coasters. Second, I am even less of a fan when that roller coaster is not of the  mechanical kind and instead is one that goes whizzing up and loops around the emotions of fear, anger, guilt, frustration, sadness...all in the same day!

As I have mentioned in previous posts, getting older can suck. Not only do we develop aches and pains that were non-existent before but we have more daily issues to deal with, more financial hurdles, dealing with health issues either for ourselves or for our friends or family members.

I remember last year asking Chad the question on if we were at that stage in our life where we would be attending more memorial services then weddings. Granted it could be that as we get older the age range of our friends change and we will have friends that are older. Regardless though....I think we have reached that pinnacle point in our life. The top of the roller coaster...and quite honestly I don't want to start the descend.

We have a dear friend of ours that has been fighting cancer. She was diagnosed back in April (April 1st I believe...Oh how I wish it was some person's sick idea of an April Fool's joke...). It just pains me to see her and her family struggling through all of this. I mean it's not even happening to me, yet,  I am like "Why?? Why her?" Not that I would wish this on anyone (though honestly I can think of a few people that might deserve it!) but why this sweet, funny, amazing lady??

It makes me angry, then sad, then angry again, then guilty because I am healthy. Here we go! Climbing, climbing, climbing and............Sssssssssssssqueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllll!

I hate roller coasters! Give me the simple carousel any day. I will just sit on my horsey (or in some cases, a horse size cat?? Seriously what were the carousel people smoking that day?)) and go around and around in circles. Slow and simple....

It is so funny how as kids we want to be adults. I laugh at Shelby and just shake my head. Oh sweet child, just enjoy your childhood. Adulthood will be here quicker than you will know it and you will be going "Wait, stop. Let me off this ride!"

However, here is a quote I found that sums it up pretty well.
Life is a roller coaster; you can either scream every time you hit a bump or you can throw your hands up in the air and enjoy!

Saturday, July 5, 2014

A Long Interesting Weekend!

What a weekend it has been! Full of fun, frustrations, bratty kids and sun!

So Chad decided that we should head over to the lot this weekend since it was a long weekend (the 4th of July) and we were going to be home (most years we have been in Montana) So we got all packed, Shelby invited a friend and off we went!

Until....this happened!

 


Luckily I was at a point where I could easily pull off AND my cell phone still had enough charge that I could call Chad and tell him to come and turn around! Another good thing was that we had the motorhome so we had a nice comfy place to hang out while we were waiting for the tow truck.
So after Chad's parents came to loan us their truck (and to make sure our truck got towed home okay!) we continued on our way to camp for the weekend!
 
Saturday was spent playing games, going for a walk , picking up free couches (I mean who doesnt' do this on Saturdays?), heading to Lake Wenatchee for some water fun and sun and then off to Lake Chelan for fireworks!


 
 


 
I love camping but I also love the creature comforts of home...and a nice warm shower! 

Saturday, May 31, 2014

You were Made for More

So I am sure we have all had this feeling - that no one likes us, we aren't good enough, we are ugly, stupid, fat or insert-your-issue-here.

With an 11 year old I hear Shelby say many of the above on a regular basis. I know it's just part of being 11 as I remember saying similar things myself. As a mother I try to tell her the proper things even though I know she may not really listen to me or understand that I do in fact "get it" and that not only did I feel that same way at her age, but that I still feel that same way at 29......

We are all so critical of ourselves. We want to be great at everything we strive for. We want to be the best dancer, to be able to take great pictures, bake the most delicious treats or have the most friends. We want to be the one who everyone wants to hang with and who gets asked out for coffee, dinner or lunch all the time. We want our social calendar to be busting at the seams and to be that all around great person.

In a perfect world.... :)

So I tried telling Shelby in her "woe is me" moment that she is not going to be great at everything and that it is okay. But alas, she is 11 so that didn't go over. I think she does take in what I am saying and files it away in that brain of hers for future use, but in the heat of the moment she could care less what words I am spouting.

I have a book of devotionals by Lysa Terkeurst that I have had for quite a while and just read a chapter at a time when the mood strikes me. I picked it up today and the one chapter I read just really hit home with the above situation I am talking about. Weird how God works and how he throws us these "Oh Yeah!" moments right when we need them.

Basically the chapter states that we are made for more. We were made for victory!

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe    - Ephesians 1:18-19a 

Friday, May 9, 2014

Long Time No Post

Goodness! Has it really been almost 6 months since I posted anything?? There has been so many times I have wanted to write a blog post but then I either know that whatever topic I need/want to talk about will probably just raise issues, or make me more angry or I just am to tired to deal with any of it long enough to write about it.

So I don't know if people are just getting ruder/more self centered or if I am just getting more cynical as I get older. My friend & I talked about this once and decided it's a little of both :)

Sometimes I wish I could be Shelby's age, where I could get away with being a bit more self centered, that my concerns and worries were really just trivial issues that in the grand scheme of things just really weren't a huge deal. But oh no!! I get to be an adult!

I have to deal with financial issues, house issues (which usually result in financial issues!), work issues (again...usually resulting in financial issues...hmm I see a running trend here!) And since we are already talking about the kiddo...I have to deal with those issues as well!

Luckily I have a tough skin because man does that kid put me through the ringer! "I hate you!" "Why do I have to do chores!" "You are so mean!" Yeah, yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah....

I know that, in general, my life is going along smoothly. We are healthy and we have a roof over our head (and are able to continue to pay for it to remain there!). We have friends dealing with serious health issues, and just one bad thing after another, so I am grateful for the little things. Some days though it's hard to just keep smiling.

Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!