What could have been

So I am not sure why but in the past few days I have been having those "What if" thoughts. You know the ones! What if I had dated so & so, what if I had taken that job, etc. etc. I sometimes think that I would love to go back in time and change how things evolved (knowing what I know now of course!) You know like Erica in that show "Becoming Erica" on SoapNet!

I guess some of this has come of all the people I have reconnected with via Facebook. I have reconnected with classmates and formed or are forming some great new friendships, but...some of these people I never really hung out with in school! I knew them, I am sure we had classes together but that is the extent of our relationship. It makes me think of why we were not friends back in school and there is this part of me that goes "If I could go back in time..."

But then I tell myself everything happens for a reason! I am meant to be friends with these people now because I need them in my life now. I am the person I am today because of the traumas and the turmoils I had to wade through then!

I have been struggling with some relationships in my life and there are days where I have just had enough. I know I shouldn't give up but when you try and try and get nothing in return it is hard.

I found this quote just a minute ago and I really like it!

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”

I want these type of people as friends! Those that care enough to break down my wall instead of turning away!

Are you one of those friends?

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It's a Brand New Year

And that being said, I have established a few new years resolutions. I know this is probably a bad idea and I think everyone says "Don't do it!" but I have not been one to listen to others so, I have set some for myself! And I have always been one to try to better myself (TRY being the keyword here people!!)

So here are a few things I want to try to accomplish this year and I decided to post it in a blog so that 1) I can go back and read it and go "Oops, need to get crackin' on that one and 2) so you all that read this can hold me to it!

1.) I need to eat better (i.e. less chocolate and mochas!) and exercise more (need to try to lose 30 lbs!)

2.) Need to keep my anger under control when dealing with Shelby (well and anyone for that reason, but my temper really boils over with her!)

3.) Watch less TV (AKA spend less time sitting on my butt on the couch playing on the laptop)

4.) Spend less time sitting on my butt on the couch playing on the laptop (AKA watch less TV)

5.) Scrapbook more (instead of just collecting supplies!)

6.) Get back in to some type of church/bible study program

7.) Make a point of getting together with friends more often

8.) Make new friends (but keep the old!)

9.) Set aside any spare money made from scrapbooking for Chad's shop (okay, that is just me being silly! Want to see if Chad ever reads my blog!!)

10.) Curb the coffee habit (sad when we pay towards Starbucks in a month the same amount we pay towards fuel for the vehicles!)

So far I have started off well with the exercise/food issue. I have exercised a few times since January 1st and have been trying to watch what I eat - grabbing fruit instead of chocolate. And I was quite proud of myself one day when I just remained calm when Shelby was off throwing a tantrum! Yay me! Now let's just hope I can keep it up for the whole year!

Anyway, off to watch TV...I mean go scrapbook. Yeah, that is it!!