Random stuff bout Me, Chad, Shelby or anything else I feel like talking about

Thursday, May 21, 2015


Have I ever mentioned that I am not a patient person? Add to that the fact that I over analyze everything and you have just one hot mess of a person!

For being kind of a "go with the flow" kind of person it really doesn't make sense that I am also impatient and an over-thinker. Why can't I just be "Yeah, whatevs!"

I am someone that constantly tells myself "Everything happens for a reason and happens when it is suppose to" I just have to have faith that things will happen the way they are suppose to and that everything will be okay.

But when!?!?!?!? What does the future hold??? I NEED TO KNOW!!!! I AM STRESSING OUT HERE!!! :)

I guess I will just sit here and contemplate my navel.


Friday, May 8, 2015

Reading...is my drug!

I think I can understand what an addict must go through on a daily basis. The struggles they must face, the hurdles they must overcome, the urges they must fight. I can understand this because......I am an addict to reading!!

I will read whenever possible! I will sneak books into the bathroom with me so I can read in peace away from my family. I have been known to sneak a book out while on the job so I can get a few pages in while on break. I have been known on several occasions to start a book with good intentions to just read a few chapters and then put it down to get daily tasks done, and a few hours later I have not moved from my spot and the book is done. This past week I have stayed up on three different nights well past 2 am just to finish a book! Good thing I am currently unemployed and can sleep in the next day!

Having a Kindle is my worst enemy. It is basically my enabler! In the olden days one would have to drive to the library or bookstore if they had finished one book to get another. Now it's simply a slide of the finger and another book has been downloaded!

A few weeks ago my family and I were heading to the ocean. We stopped at Target for a few last minute items and, even though I had already packed away two books, I had to meander down the book aisle. I came across a book that recently was made into a movie. It was a movie that Shelby wanted to see so I was like "Oh she might enjoy reading this" so we bought it. Well being the good mommy that I am, I figured I would read it first just to make sure it was appropriate. Well it wasn't (probably a bit more young adult than she is!) but I enjoyed it so much that I had finished it before we even got to our destination AND I had to boot up my Kindle and download another book by the author as soon as I finished reading it. Well then Amazon has the nerve to say "Well if you like this author you may like this one" I mean, they are forcing me to read more! They have the nerve to entice you even more with special Prime membership prices, the option to check some books out and even have some books for FREE! I mean, how can anyone say no to that????? So my vacation with my family consisted of a total of 6 books read, 4 of which were by one author and were all read within a 48 hour period!

I guess the first step is admitting you have a problem right??

In case anyone is interested, here are the books I read on that trip AND a few I have read since then. All are YA or NA (Young Adult and New Adult in case you were wondering!)

The Duff - Kody Keplinger
A Midsummer's Nightmare - Kody Keplinger
Reason's I Fell for the Funny Fat Friend - Cassie Mae
How to Date  Nerd - Cassie Mae
How to Hook a Bookworm - Cassie Mae
Switched - Cassie Mae
True Love and Magic Tricks - Becca Ann (aka Cassie Mae)
The Real Thing - Cassie Mae
The Fine Art of Pretending - Rachel Harris
Isn't She Lovely - Lauren Layne
The Deal - Elle Kennedy

And if you need any more reading material, I know where you can get hooked up....

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

God is Good!

I am not one to go around preaching gospel or throwing my faith in God at anyone but I just feel I have to do it today, especially in light of my recent struggles and moods.

For the last several months I have been doubting my self - worth and my capability to function as an adult out in the real world. I felt like no matter what I did I could not succeed and this was hard because I had never experienced it before. I know that I am a hard worker and valuable but no matter how much I tried to remind myself of that, the negative thoughts overrode the positive ones.

Now I am not a huge religious person, but I do believe in God and he has always seemed to keep me safe. Quite honestly though the last few months I began to understand how people can lose faith in God. I just kept going "Why are you making me doubt myself and go through this?"

Luckily I stuck it out (what can I say, I am stubborn!) and within just 5 short days I have been blessed with positive thoughts from all over! I am not sure if I agree with the path God choose to take me on but the end result is a good one! 

Saturday, May 2, 2015

I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough and doggone it people like me!

That is my motto today!!

Funny that my horoscope yesterday was to document my life story and write about it. My coworker says "Time to update your blog!" I was like "Yeah I have nothing to write about!" but after what transpired yesterday that has changed!

I suffer from depression. Most of the time it's just seasonal. The dark and dreary winter months cause me to shrink back into my shell and just want to hibernate until the sun comes out again. However in the past 9  months this has not been the case and this is not normal.

Yes we have had life altering issues, such as the death of a friend which I am sure contributes to it, however this was worse than that. For the first time ever I had people that were (and are) extremely worried about me. So this made me really stop and think. Obviously things are pretty bad if I have said or done things that make my friends worried. I am usually one that tries not to lean on others and to try to fix my problems first. If I am no longer able to do this than I am not as strong as I once was and this means I need some help.

I was in a bad situation for the past several months. No need to go into what it was, as most of my friends already know. This situation had people making me doubt myself. Every day I felt like I had no redeeming qualities and that I sucked at everything I did. I was basically to blame for everything. If you know me, you know that this is not the case! I am a kind, considerate, hard-working individual! If I make a mistake, I try to learn from it and move on. I always put my best effort forward. To be accused of not doing this just angers me. As I see it, the situation has taken a turn for the better. I may struggle for a bit but in the end I know my faith and self worth will be restored.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I reflected on my situation last night and was like "Why did I have to suffer through this and feel all this pain?" Who knows what the real reasons may be but I feel it was for two reasons.

The first reason was so that know that I never want to deal with a situation or people like I had to again. I will be reminded that I deserve better than that and to stick up for myself.

The second reason is for the friendships that transpired or grew from this. Not only the new friendships but the reassurance that I have a wonderful group of friends that are always there for me.

I am good enough, I am smart enough and DOGGONE it, people like me!!