Random stuff bout Me, Chad, Shelby or anything else I feel like talking about

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Depression is...depressing

There is feeling down, being sad, maybe just feeling tired and run down and just lack energy to...well care. Yes these are just normal emotions that all people deal with from time to time.

Then there is depression - where quite often you cannot pinpoint why you are sad, and sad really can't even begin to describe how you feel. Depression is where you don't want to get out of bed in the morning, where you just want to curl up in to the fetal position,  go far, far away and just not deal with anything.You feel worthless, that you are not good at anything, and that you really aren't important to anyone.

For people that have not dealt with severe depression they cannot fully understand. I guess they just expect you to cheer up, or buck up and move on. Some may think it's just a case of self pity. It's not that simple, believe me, I know.

You see, I suffer from depression. Several years ago I just felt very depressed, more so than normal. I mean I am after all a female and we stress, over analyze, take things personally, all of which can make life a bit depressing. But this was beyond that. No matter what my family tried, said or did helped. Chad, who can usually make me laugh, couldn't. The worst part is that you cannot put your finger on exactly why you feel the way you do. I remember Chad asking me "What has got you down?" I didn't know and that, well, just depressed me more. It's a vicious cycle.

Finally he had enough, and since medical options were cheaper than a divorce (plus I like to believe he loves me to much to leave me!), he told me to go to the doctor. What a difference that made! The doc totally understood, having had suffered it himself and dealing with family who had as well. He made me feel like I was perfectly normal, and it was okay that I was seeking his help.

My drug of choice is Zoloft. I like to call them my "happy pills". Some days, when I may be a bit more hostile then normal, Chad will go "Have you had your happy pills today?"

It's a silent disease. Consider what people you know may be dealing with, even if you have never had to deal with it. The last thing we really need to hear is "Well I don't get it. I have never been depressed." or "You have nothing to be depressed about". Believe me, I know that so imagine my frustration when I am depressed anyway!

I saw this on Facebook the other day and it just speaks volumes.

Thank you to those that have reached out to me, sent me mail to cheer me up, and prayed for me!

No comments: